Past, Present, and Future

A blog about life and everything else.

Why Every Relationship Matters

by Thought Catalog

Thought Catalog

Remember that girl in high school that refused to date while in high school because the guys are all too immature? I always laughed at this sentiment as it expressed the sheer definition of immaturity; trying too hard to be mature.

But these types of people also miss a central conceit of romance, even in the zygotic cesspool of dating before college. While most people would say they date because they want to find “the one” or at least someone they could get along with for lengthy periods of time, dating is actually far more complicated than that. Each relationship you have had before ended for any number of reasons: they (or you) were too clingy, too distant, too irrational, to coldly rational, owned way too many tarantulas, owned way too many DVD box sets of One Tree Hill. They weren’t ready, you weren’t ready. They didn’t have enough…

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9 signs you’re falling for someone

by Baz

Photo above: The Lost Bean coffee shop in Tustin, California. I took this with a Nikon D800 and 50mm f/1.4

1. When you receive a text from your mom, your best friend, or your work offering you overtime pay, you pretty much sigh because none of that matters right now. All that matters is that you receive that text from the hottie you want to ask out.

2. After receiving that text, you dissect it hundreds of times, opening and closing your message inbox, hoping that you’ll finally figure out what it really means. Each letter, each sentence, and each emoticon must be carefully analyzed before sending that reply back… ’cause if you don’t, you just might screw up this potential relationship. Who knew that  “What time are we studying? :)” was actually an honest question. Shame on them for screwing with our hearts.

3. Seeing them makes you feel infinitely better, and at the same time, you hope that them seeing you makes them feel exactly the same way.

4. Life tends to be more purposeful with them around. Even though you hate the class you’re in with them, you inherently begin to study increasingly more, just so you don’t flunk out and miss your chances of seeing their beautiful face.

5. Knowing when you’ll see your crush next, you start dressing sexier, cleaner, and more seductive. “Oh, it’s Wednesday today!” Time to shave, wear my Sperry’s, and put on those expensive pair of chinos from J. Crew…

6. Whenever they talk to a member of the opposite sex, regardless of them being their sibling, best friend, or classmate, you become disgustingly jealous and give them the stink eye. Like, dude, GTFO and stop cock blocking me.

7. Making them smile or laugh makes you feel like you’ve accomplished something for the day. Seriously, though, a smile from your crush is the ultimate heart-melter.

8. Their deodorant, body spray, and overall scent must be what the gods of Greece smelled like. The smell of your crush is always uplifting and noticeable, no matter where you are, or how stuffy your nose is. Also, at the same time, you begin to fervently smell yourself, hoping that the new Axe body spray is actually doing its job.

9. “Lovefool” by The Cardigans is your new favorite song.

Diving in!

by Baz

Bombay Beach, California. I took this with a Nikon D800 and 16-35mm f/4.

Remember that girl, Roman Eyes, I was recently talking about? Well, I think I’m finally falling for her. Though she still offers that precarious and annoying presence, I have considered (and accepted) to take it easy and pursue, regardless of how long it takes. To be perfectly honest with everyone, this is both a new and weird feeling for me. Why? I’m new to this game called  “The Chase”. I’d rather have a mutual flow between us, if that’s somewhat understandable. The women I’ve met in the past have always hinted largely at what they’ve wanted, or in some cases, have initiated everything on their own.  Now that we casually talk in-between class and lecture, she’s finally opening up a little bit more to me. A few weeks back, this woman would always answer me in one-word or few-word sentences. Now, however, I’m getting full, complete sentences! Progress, right?!

Tomorrow we’re scheduled to study for four hours before class. That’s a really long time, I know. It may be too long, but I’ve certainly been studying up on the material so that I could potentially help her out if she needs it (Which she will, seeing as her grade dropped considerably after the last test). I’m surprising her with a homemade salad, too, a lunch that no one could ever really decline. I mean, it’s healthy, it’s filling, and it’s made with love. Plus, who in their right mind could stay on campus for six hours and not eat a single meal? Also, I plan to ask her out on date as well. Maybe for a Pizookie at BJs after class? Something simple, and in the realm of dessert, because it’s pretty apparent that women dislike eating in front of a guy they barely know.

Out with the old, in with the new

by Baz

Photo above was taken with my Nikon D800 and Nikkor 50mm f/1.4G (My old film camera <3)

Well, guys, I reactivated both my OKCupid and POF accounts. I did a lot of thinking about this, and I believe that my expectations for finding “the one” were incredibly wayyyyyyy too hasty. I deactivated both my accounts after three dates on OKCupid and zero on POF. Though the dates were either horrible or I just wasn’t feeling her, I’m (almost) certain that there are tons of fun, awesome, and good-natured chicks to be found. Until I figure out how to weed out the “good” from the “bad”, I won’t be messaging excessively. Hell, I don’t even know if I’ll be messaging any time soon.

After signing onto POF, I’m already getting women that want to “Meet Me” in person. Sweet, huh? Unfortunately, ALL of these women are wearing those ugly ass sunglasses that cover the entirety of their face. How am I supposed to superficially judge them when I can’t even see their face? How am I supposed to know that they’re not a cyclops, that they’re not breaking out all over, or that they actually have a face for that matter? These are some of things I think about. And the last one posed with her three kids. What the fuck is that shit? How the hell do you expect a 24-year old dude to manage you, your three kids, and myself? Gawd damn it.

Though I”m active on both of these websites again, I will hardly rely on them. Meeting a potential partner in-person is just that much better. Rarely will there be any form of shallowness or misuse of the words “their” and “there”.

Anyway, tips are always welcome. Especially from the women. If you need a guy’s advice, hit me up.

The Binge

by Baz

I recently binged on technology and bought myself a new MacBook Pro and a Galaxy SIII, both terribly expensive items. My old MacBook was still relatively new but somehow fell off its high-horse, leaving me unable to update it and therefore causing it to be ridiculously slow and incompatible with a few programs that I desperately needed to use. My Galaxy SIII was my very first smartphone purchase, finally enabling me to use internet on-the-go. With T9 texting out of the way, I’m slowly becoming accustomed to the touchpad, though autocorrect is currently pissing me off at the moment.

What can I say after all of this? Well, I definitely feel “connected” to the world. Life has become a bit easier to deal with, as I can quickly check email, my blog, and various other websites with the touch of an app. I can even use GPS and snap high quality photos with a gorgeous 8 MP camera.

I’m really grateful for both of my new toys. Really, I am. But I’ve noticed a few lifestyle changes as well. With the new computer around, I feel as if I’ve always been on it. I haven’t been anti-social per se, but I’m easily conforming to loner-satus much more than I used to. Everything is so fast; programs are downloaded with ease, and switching between websites online occurs in less than a second. It seems that all I want to do is download shit, stream on Hulu, and download some more. Geezus. Also, with the new phone, I hardly pay attention to the world around me. I used to “people watch” all of the time. Wherever I went, and when I had to wait for a friend, I would always check out the crowd or browse the shops around me. Now, you’ll more than likely find me on a bench with my eyes glued to my phone. I used to study and pay attention in class. And I used to write with pens and pencils to jot down notes of random things in my life. None of this occurs as much as it used to. I’ve literally immersed myself with my generation in a matter of a week.

The binge on technology will help me. I believe it to be so. Because I’ve become connected to the world, I’m quickly associating myself with Facebook (and FB Messenger), Yelp, and Instagram. People that I haven’t talked to in ages are already adding me as friends and liking my photos. They’re also commenting on my photos as if we’ve never stopped talking (which we did in high school). It’s amazing, because now I can easily ask someone to hang out via Facebook, Yelp or Instagram.

But after using them so much, and figuring out the many whimsical things about them, I’ve begun to see how trite they really are. I’m tired of checking my social media every few minutes because of a notification. I want to own the phone, not have the phone own me. Ya feel me, world? From now on, I plan to keep the new toys at bay and experience life. Not as a robot, but as a human being. Plus, my data is running out, so I need to keep that shit on check.

by Thought Catalog

This is so amazing

Roman Eyes

by Baz

Photo above was taken with my new Nikon D800 🙂

There’s this chick in class that loves to glance over in my direction. I say “love” because she tends to do it a lot, or tries to unknowingly while my back is turned. During class, I usually miss the tilting of her head in my direction, but she always seems to catch my creepily-eyed gaze. It’s rather uncomfortable, because I feel as if I’m the oddball window shopping for something I’m too afraid to walk in and buy. Anyway, I think she has the gist that I’m a little into her. Now, let me tell you guys, this chick is incredibly beautiful in my eyes. She has this look that provides a certain seductiveness; something that draws me in. It’s really hard to put into words, but there’s definitely a gravitating aura to her. Some key things to note: She always sits alone; guys rarely, if ever, talk to her; she never talks to anyone; her grades are OK (as in B to B+ average).

The thing is, I’ve tried talking to her many times. Every time I start up a conversation with this girl, she always answers in one-word or few-word sentences. After that, I try to keep the conversation going with another question or two but she responds in the exact same way. When all is said and done, she never tends to bounce the questions in my court. Our little squabble soon fades away as if nothing ever happened. And this is why I’m confused. If she keeps looking in my direction, yet has no desire to hold a conversation with me, then what is her goal out of this? Honestly, I don’t get the feeling that she’s trying to stop the conversation. I just get the feeling that she’s an awful person to talk to (At the moment). My intuition’s up to par these days, and I can definitely tell if someone isn’t in the mood to converse, and I don’t think she is. Maybe, just maybe, she’s the type that needs a little bit of warming up before she exposes herself to another guy.

I’m still a guy, however, which means I’m pretty dull at reading a woman’s mind. I have no idea what’s going on in that brain of hers. I have a few theories, which are these: She’s attracted to me but is a poor conversationalist (I don’t think this may be true, because her responses are fairly clear, confident, and concise); she’s shy; she has no attraction to me but enjoys gazing in my direction; it takes her a long time to warm up to another; or she has a boyfriend.

Do you guys think I should bite the bullet and ask her out? For dinner? Or to study?

0-3 in the Dating Game

by Baz

“Photo above: 9/11 Memorial, New York. I took this photo with a Nikon D7000 and Tokina 11-16mm f/2.8”

I wanted tonight to work out. Really, I did, but karma just didn’t have my back. To be completely truthful, I was ecstatic for the first three minutes of our date. I played everything cool and gentleman-like: I picked her up, told her she was beautiful, and opened the car door for her. Awesome, right? As soon as we got the jitters shaken out of us, my date decided to pick up a phone call from her mom that sounded almost verbatim to this: “WHAT?! YES I HAVE THE KEYS. SHIT! OK, BYE.” Click. And yes, she was yelling. If there were to be a soccer referee close by, he would have immediately thrown this woman a red flag. If you think that’s bad, my date picked up yet another phone call a few minutes later that went something like this: “DUDE! I TOLD YOU I’M ON A DATE. I CAN’T PICK YOU UP.” Click. By the second phone call, I finally understood what it meant to be deaf. However, being deaf on the way to the Los Angeles County Fair proved to be a major plus on my part.

After entering the fair as a newly handicapped 24 year-old male, I instantly became mesmerized with the many booths littered around the lot. There were countless barbecue booths (Corn, ribs, sausages, burgers, etc.), fried food booths (Kool-Aid, Klondike Bars, cereals), and a ton of carnival games to be played. My hypothalamus kicked into overdrive as I began to salivate the need to eat everything on the menu. “What do you want to try first?!” I was incredibly hungry at this point. “Oh,” she replied. “I’m not eating or drinking anything tonight. I don’t want to gain weight.” You ass. That’s the most unfair thing anyone has ever said to me. To my readers, let me reiterate the point that tonight’s date to the fair was entirely HER idea. She picked the date, not me. “Wait, so you’re not going to eat at all tonight?” “No, sorry. But I’ll watch you eat if you want.” I don’t know what it is about my eating habits, but I find it uncomfortable eating alone in front of a woman that I barely even know.

After discovering that my date was on the road to anorexia, we finally had the chance to talk in the ferris wheel and escape the tormenting scent of charcoal and meat. Or rather, she had the chance to talk; I just listened, like a sad, unfortunate P.O.W. with tape over his mouth. I learned about her ex-boyfriend, who rides a motorcycle; her two ONLY friends, apparently both extremely boring; her need to cleanse her contacts with Visine every hour because of excessive dryness; her two tattoo’s of “love” and “serendipity”; and of course, the distress she was feeling over why a recent guy on PoF wouldn’t respond back to one of her messages (I think I understand why he didn’t…). This was our time spent in the ferris wheel. Classy, huh? No, not at all.

Starved, depressed, and in need of copious amounts of Serotonin, I took one last glimpse at the shimmering lights and smokey trails of barbecued food.  As we finally left, I decided to ignore her bothersome requests to go back and play more games. I should have shut her down after the eighth attempt, probably with a “Well, go use that ATM over there and buy yourself some tickets. I’ll pick you up in an hour.” It was obvious that she felt a little distraught, but really, she had it coming. This was all HER fault. Who the hell picks the fair as a date and decides to NOT eat the fucking food? Isn’t that the specific reason for why people go? To experience relentless heartburn and cheat on their strict, hardcore diet? It seriously was a sad way to leave, but this woman just kept mixing apples with oranges. You just can’t do that.

As we pulled up to her house, I walked my date to her door, gave her a hug, and left with “Have a good night.” Now, looking back, I realize that she didn’t even say thank you. Not for the money I spent at the fair, nor for the sanity used to counteract her outlandish mindset. Although, and in pure honesty, just having this woman away from my sight was worth more than a million thank you’s. Still, my stomach was grumbling and I was nearly malnourished from mental exhaustion. I soon found myself gorging an entire Big Mac. Fast food never tasted so deliciously five-star. Thanks, McDonald’s, you’re a lifesaver.

At home, I still have this woman’s scent on my hand after accidently brushing her arm tonight. It stinks, like a Bed, Bath and Beyond crossed with a few frightened skunks. After I scrub myself down with Dial soap for a few minutes, I’m going to temporarily disable my OKCupid account. Its only been three weeks, but I’m already fed up with the three lousy dates that I’ve experienced. Why can’t people act like normal human beings for a change?! Or is normalcy in my books just too damn specific? Seriously, though, three dates and not even a compatibility. Fuck you, match percentage. Fuck you, faux-photos. Fuck you, girl-who-broke-every-single-rule-for-a-first-date. For those who are using online dating as resource, how long have you had your accounts for? And through the many bad dates that you’ve been on, how do you keep yourself from becoming too pessimistic and cynical? Or maybe OKCupid and POF are just horrible websites in general? Who knows.

For a fact, I know that true love is out there. But where oh where can it be?

The Persistent One

by Baz

“Photo above: Huntington Beach, California. I took this with a Nikon D7000 and Tokina 11-16mm f/2.8”

I recently messaged another woman on OKCupid who instantly grabbed my attention. She’s a journalism major, loves to hike, and appears to have the MOST gorgeous eyes (But who knows, I’ve fallen for the not-so-updated photos before). The major selling point of this woman was her intensely mixed ethnicity like myself, which naturally became the subject of my initiatory message. She’s also really fit (supposedly),which led me to have one of those disgustingly giddy and romantic thoughts of running alongside the beach with her (Since I’m training for the Long Beach City Half-Marathon). My crosshair was in sight, and I was ready to pull the trigger. Unfortunately, after setting up a date for the Los Angeles County Fair this Thursday night, things began to unfold in a rather quirky and seemingly regrettable way.

These are the plenty of no-no’s that are going down for this date:

  1. I’m picking her up, meaning, if our date goes anything but amazing, it could potentially turn into a bad car ride home. I’ve always read about the awkward silences that occur from a bad date, but I’ve never actually experienced one for myself. Guys, isn’t it the golden rule to meet up separately, just in case something like this occurs? I think so, but since were both Orange County natives traveling up to the Los Angeles County Fair, we thought it would be best to save on gas and the $12 parking fee. Honestly, though, if the date turns to shit, I’m sure neither of us would like to sit in silence for thirty minutes, having only the squeaky brakes of my car as the background noise.
  2. This is a REALLY expensive first date. Am I a prude when it comes to money? Fuck no. I always tend to spend it on my family and friends (and even their friends, too). And to superficially make myself look even better, I took care of most of the expenses with my last ex-girlfriend. Anyway, I feel as if there’s always this matter of judgement by how much “the male” is willing to spend on the first date. Is she going to expect me to pay for the many games, desserts, and drinks that we’ll get (not including dinner)? What if I don’t win her a big stuffed animal right away? HOW MANY TIMES WILL I HAVE TO PAY FOR THAT STUPID WATER GUN GAME?! Really, I don’t want to know… I’m actually devastated just thinking about it. What I’m trying to say is this: I don’t want her to think that I’ll be making it rain with “dolla dolla” bills every weekend (presuming that this first date goes well). Is that too much to ask?
  3. She doesn’t text because it’s currently not a priority for her. Why? “Because I pay for my own stuff.” I’ll admit, this is an incredibly admirable quality, except for the fact that she decided it was fine to call me at 3:00am in the morning on a motherfucking Monday night. She apologized the next day in an email, stating that she “really had the urge to talk to me.” That’s understandable, but when I have a huge physiology exam later in the afternoon, that probably isn’t the best time to contact me. Geezus.
  4. She literally responds a few minutes after I message her on OKCupid. Is this woman a troll that never ceases to leave the dark confines of her cave-like room? There’s no “iPhone App” attached to her messages, which makes me believe that she’s always (and I mean ALWAYS) on her computer. Perhaps she’s really digging me? I suppose that would be flattering, in a certain light, but I tend to gravitate more towards those who enjoy doing activities, well, outside.

So here I am, setting myself up for what seems like a 50-50 chance for success. The date could go really well, or it could end up as one of the worst nights of my life. Do you know what, though? Creamsicles were always my favorite type of ice cream.


A date with a Filipino

by Baz

“Photo above: Times Square, New York. I took this with a Nikon D7000 and a Tokina 11-16mm f/2.8”

After coming back to the local community college to further my career, I still don’t know the exact reason for why I signed up for OKCupid. With the many beautiful women surrounding me at school, it should be a no-brainer to go out and ask a lovely gal to study with me. But I always seem to be near a computer. So it happened. I messaged a few people. And I went out on a date last night.

Being Filipino, my date abided by her stereotypical “Flipino Time” by showing up twenty minutes late. Figures. This didn’t really bother me–I luckily had the radio and a few physiology notes to fumble through. Around 9:25pm, she called me as she walked up to the Veronese Cafe in Fullerton. Of course, and I suppose this is common for online profiles (from what I’ve heard), she looked different from what I viewed online. Immediately, I knew that I fell for those damn MySpace angles. My “fuck it” attitude soon ensued, and we ended up talking throughout the night while drinking our peach and strawberry slushes over existentialism, our jobs, and her family. Being a natural Pisces, I listened throughout most of the conversation and added my little tidbits of advice here and there. She liked this, though, and told me many times throughout the night. Plus one for me, right?

After the Veronese Cafe, she took me to some of her favorite spots around Downtown Fullerton. Notably, the Night Owl Cafe and The Continental Bar. I was actually impressed with her choices because these places hit the spot for a late night date. Fruit tarts and cheesecake (with a few shared cigarettes) at the Night Owl Cafe and a Redbull and Vodka (with a few more shared cigarettes) at the Continental Bar. We danced for a little around the sweaty masses of people out on a Friday night and eventually headed out to her friend’s house party. By the time I left, it was 4:30am. That was the end of the date.

From my point-of-view, last night’s date went well, however, it’s hard to say if I felt anything physical for this date. She’s nothing out of the ordinary, and definitely not a crazy serial killer (Sweet!). She has a great personality, and her life stories are intensely intriguing to me.

Like everyone else, I’m dating to narrow my field of interest and see exactly what I like. Love doesn’t show up as a Christmas present or on your birthday with a red bow around it. It’s a process, and you have to work hard for it. Meeting new potential individuals is an experience in itself, regardless of the good or bad. And experiences are what shape our lives. I’ll continue forward with this and see where it goes.