Past, Present, and Future

by Baz

I recently ventured up north to visit an old best friend from high school. And man, oh man, she’s still as amazing as ever. On top of that, she’s become incredibly beautiful, too. Having not seen her in a number of years, it felt as if I skipped to the end of one of those jaw-dropping time-lapse videos on Youtube.

Have you guys ever felt such an air of nostalgia that it almost knocked you off your feet? I was blown away. We, as best friends, still seemingly remained the same with each other. It’s as if time halted for us. She still laughed at my stupid jokes; I still teased her the same way; and we still embraced each other as if we’ve never drifted apart. This was the girl who I once longed for, and to be honest, it was the woman I immediately began to long for again. My past has finally caught up to my present, and I was suddenly thinking about my future.

This friend of mine was very special to me. She’s the first person that I legitimately felt something for. The feelings, so they say, were real–hands down. They were pure, like a baby’s first taste of sugar. But I never once asked her out (not even to a dance!). I don’t know why, but I’m almost certain it was because of my shyness. I was afraid of rejection, and the crumbling friendship that would probably soon follow afterward.

Do I regret this part of my past? Hell fucking yes I do (to the millionth power!). I really, honestly wish I could have spent more time with this woman. But the fact of the matter is this: it’s hard to accept the past sometimes. Time never stops. It never stops for me, for her, or for anyone else. We just have to keep on moving, because it’s what we’re built to do.

Who knows, maybe I won’t ever see this old-timer of a friend again. That’s definitely a possibility. But if I do, I want her to see the best damn version of myself that I can offer (Which includes a six pack, by the way).