Past, Present, and Future

A blog about life and everything else.

Month: September, 2012

0-3 in the Dating Game

by Baz

“Photo above: 9/11 Memorial, New York. I took this photo with a Nikon D7000 and Tokina 11-16mm f/2.8”

I wanted tonight to work out. Really, I did, but karma just didn’t have my back. To be completely truthful, I was ecstatic for the first three minutes of our date. I played everything cool and gentleman-like: I picked her up, told her she was beautiful, and opened the car door for her. Awesome, right? As soon as we got the jitters shaken out of us, my date decided to pick up a phone call from her mom that sounded almost verbatim to this: “WHAT?! YES I HAVE THE KEYS. SHIT! OK, BYE.” Click. And yes, she was yelling. If there were to be a soccer referee close by, he would have immediately thrown this woman a red flag. If you think that’s bad, my date picked up yet another phone call a few minutes later that went something like this: “DUDE! I TOLD YOU I’M ON A DATE. I CAN’T PICK YOU UP.” Click. By the second phone call, I finally understood what it meant to be deaf. However, being deaf on the way to the Los Angeles County Fair proved to be a major plus on my part.

After entering the fair as a newly handicapped 24 year-old male, I instantly became mesmerized with the many booths littered around the lot. There were countless barbecue booths (Corn, ribs, sausages, burgers, etc.), fried food booths (Kool-Aid, Klondike Bars, cereals), and a ton of carnival games to be played. My hypothalamus kicked into overdrive as I began to salivate the need to eat everything on the menu. “What do you want to try first?!” I was incredibly hungry at this point. “Oh,” she replied. “I’m not eating or drinking anything tonight. I don’t want to gain weight.” You ass. That’s the most unfair thing anyone has ever said to me. To my readers, let me reiterate the point that tonight’s date to the fair was entirely HER idea. She picked the date, not me. “Wait, so you’re not going to eat at all tonight?” “No, sorry. But I’ll watch you eat if you want.” I don’t know what it is about my eating habits, but I find it uncomfortable eating alone in front of a woman that I barely even know.

After discovering that my date was on the road to anorexia, we finally had the chance to talk in the ferris wheel and escape the tormenting scent of charcoal and meat. Or rather, she had the chance to talk; I just listened, like a sad, unfortunate P.O.W. with tape over his mouth. I learned about her ex-boyfriend, who rides a motorcycle; her two ONLY friends, apparently both extremely boring; her need to cleanse her contacts with Visine every hour because of excessive dryness; her two tattoo’s of “love” and “serendipity”; and of course, the distress she was feeling over why a recent guy on PoF wouldn’t respond back to one of her messages (I think I understand why he didn’t…). This was our time spent in the ferris wheel. Classy, huh? No, not at all.

Starved, depressed, and in need of copious amounts of Serotonin, I took one last glimpse at the shimmering lights and smokey trails of barbecued food.  As we finally left, I decided to ignore her bothersome requests to go back and play more games. I should have shut her down after the eighth attempt, probably with a “Well, go use that ATM over there and buy yourself some tickets. I’ll pick you up in an hour.” It was obvious that she felt a little distraught, but really, she had it coming. This was all HER fault. Who the hell picks the fair as a date and decides to NOT eat the fucking food? Isn’t that the specific reason for why people go? To experience relentless heartburn and cheat on their strict, hardcore diet? It seriously was a sad way to leave, but this woman just kept mixing apples with oranges. You just can’t do that.

As we pulled up to her house, I walked my date to her door, gave her a hug, and left with “Have a good night.” Now, looking back, I realize that she didn’t even say thank you. Not for the money I spent at the fair, nor for the sanity used to counteract her outlandish mindset. Although, and in pure honesty, just having this woman away from my sight was worth more than a million thank you’s. Still, my stomach was grumbling and I was nearly malnourished from mental exhaustion. I soon found myself gorging an entire Big Mac. Fast food never tasted so deliciously five-star. Thanks, McDonald’s, you’re a lifesaver.

At home, I still have this woman’s scent on my hand after accidently brushing her arm tonight. It stinks, like a Bed, Bath and Beyond crossed with a few frightened skunks. After I scrub myself down with Dial soap for a few minutes, I’m going to temporarily disable my OKCupid account. Its only been three weeks, but I’m already fed up with the three lousy dates that I’ve experienced. Why can’t people act like normal human beings for a change?! Or is normalcy in my books just too damn specific? Seriously, though, three dates and not even a compatibility. Fuck you, match percentage. Fuck you, faux-photos. Fuck you, girl-who-broke-every-single-rule-for-a-first-date. For those who are using online dating as resource, how long have you had your accounts for? And through the many bad dates that you’ve been on, how do you keep yourself from becoming too pessimistic and cynical? Or maybe OKCupid and POF are just horrible websites in general? Who knows.

For a fact, I know that true love is out there. But where oh where can it be?


The Persistent One

by Baz

“Photo above: Huntington Beach, California. I took this with a Nikon D7000 and Tokina 11-16mm f/2.8”

I recently messaged another woman on OKCupid who instantly grabbed my attention. She’s a journalism major, loves to hike, and appears to have the MOST gorgeous eyes (But who knows, I’ve fallen for the not-so-updated photos before). The major selling point of this woman was her intensely mixed ethnicity like myself, which naturally became the subject of my initiatory message. She’s also really fit (supposedly),which led me to have one of those disgustingly giddy and romantic thoughts of running alongside the beach with her (Since I’m training for the Long Beach City Half-Marathon). My crosshair was in sight, and I was ready to pull the trigger. Unfortunately, after setting up a date for the Los Angeles County Fair this Thursday night, things began to unfold in a rather quirky and seemingly regrettable way.

These are the plenty of no-no’s that are going down for this date:

  1. I’m picking her up, meaning, if our date goes anything but amazing, it could potentially turn into a bad car ride home. I’ve always read about the awkward silences that occur from a bad date, but I’ve never actually experienced one for myself. Guys, isn’t it the golden rule to meet up separately, just in case something like this occurs? I think so, but since were both Orange County natives traveling up to the Los Angeles County Fair, we thought it would be best to save on gas and the $12 parking fee. Honestly, though, if the date turns to shit, I’m sure neither of us would like to sit in silence for thirty minutes, having only the squeaky brakes of my car as the background noise.
  2. This is a REALLY expensive first date. Am I a prude when it comes to money? Fuck no. I always tend to spend it on my family and friends (and even their friends, too). And to superficially make myself look even better, I took care of most of the expenses with my last ex-girlfriend. Anyway, I feel as if there’s always this matter of judgement by how much “the male” is willing to spend on the first date. Is she going to expect me to pay for the many games, desserts, and drinks that we’ll get (not including dinner)? What if I don’t win her a big stuffed animal right away? HOW MANY TIMES WILL I HAVE TO PAY FOR THAT STUPID WATER GUN GAME?! Really, I don’t want to know… I’m actually devastated just thinking about it. What I’m trying to say is this: I don’t want her to think that I’ll be making it rain with “dolla dolla” bills every weekend (presuming that this first date goes well). Is that too much to ask?
  3. She doesn’t text because it’s currently not a priority for her. Why? “Because I pay for my own stuff.” I’ll admit, this is an incredibly admirable quality, except for the fact that she decided it was fine to call me at 3:00am in the morning on a motherfucking Monday night. She apologized the next day in an email, stating that she “really had the urge to talk to me.” That’s understandable, but when I have a huge physiology exam later in the afternoon, that probably isn’t the best time to contact me. Geezus.
  4. She literally responds a few minutes after I message her on OKCupid. Is this woman a troll that never ceases to leave the dark confines of her cave-like room? There’s no “iPhone App” attached to her messages, which makes me believe that she’s always (and I mean ALWAYS) on her computer. Perhaps she’s really digging me? I suppose that would be flattering, in a certain light, but I tend to gravitate more towards those who enjoy doing activities, well, outside.

So here I am, setting myself up for what seems like a 50-50 chance for success. The date could go really well, or it could end up as one of the worst nights of my life. Do you know what, though? Creamsicles were always my favorite type of ice cream.


A date with a Filipino

by Baz

“Photo above: Times Square, New York. I took this with a Nikon D7000 and a Tokina 11-16mm f/2.8”

After coming back to the local community college to further my career, I still don’t know the exact reason for why I signed up for OKCupid. With the many beautiful women surrounding me at school, it should be a no-brainer to go out and ask a lovely gal to study with me. But I always seem to be near a computer. So it happened. I messaged a few people. And I went out on a date last night.

Being Filipino, my date abided by her stereotypical “Flipino Time” by showing up twenty minutes late. Figures. This didn’t really bother me–I luckily had the radio and a few physiology notes to fumble through. Around 9:25pm, she called me as she walked up to the Veronese Cafe in Fullerton. Of course, and I suppose this is common for online profiles (from what I’ve heard), she looked different from what I viewed online. Immediately, I knew that I fell for those damn MySpace angles. My “fuck it” attitude soon ensued, and we ended up talking throughout the night while drinking our peach and strawberry slushes over existentialism, our jobs, and her family. Being a natural Pisces, I listened throughout most of the conversation and added my little tidbits of advice here and there. She liked this, though, and told me many times throughout the night. Plus one for me, right?

After the Veronese Cafe, she took me to some of her favorite spots around Downtown Fullerton. Notably, the Night Owl Cafe and The Continental Bar. I was actually impressed with her choices because these places hit the spot for a late night date. Fruit tarts and cheesecake (with a few shared cigarettes) at the Night Owl Cafe and a Redbull and Vodka (with a few more shared cigarettes) at the Continental Bar. We danced for a little around the sweaty masses of people out on a Friday night and eventually headed out to her friend’s house party. By the time I left, it was 4:30am. That was the end of the date.

From my point-of-view, last night’s date went well, however, it’s hard to say if I felt anything physical for this date. She’s nothing out of the ordinary, and definitely not a crazy serial killer (Sweet!). She has a great personality, and her life stories are intensely intriguing to me.

Like everyone else, I’m dating to narrow my field of interest and see exactly what I like. Love doesn’t show up as a Christmas present or on your birthday with a red bow around it. It’s a process, and you have to work hard for it. Meeting new potential individuals is an experience in itself, regardless of the good or bad. And experiences are what shape our lives. I’ll continue forward with this and see where it goes.


First Date — OKCupid Style!

by Baz

“Above photo: Downtown San Francisco. I took this with a Nikon D90 + Sigma 85mm f/1.4”

I signed up for an OKCupid account a few weeks ago and somehow garnered a first date from a woman who is absolutely gorgeous and strong-willed. I’m a little apprehensive, to be honest, mainly because I haven’t really dated since breaking up with my ex-girlfriend. Seriously, though, what am I supposed to talk about?! Commonalities? Life stories? Hmm, I really don’t want to bore her with my silly interrogatory questions. Would anyone, preferably experienced daters, be able to give me a few tips with this first date?

Anyway, she’s kind of the indie type like me, so I’ve decided to take her to a really cozy, wholesome, and vintage-like cafe. I’m hoping the setting of our date will ease the situation and lighten the mood. I’ve actually been hyping up this cafe through a lot of our texts, and she seems to be excited; I’ve also kept the element of surprise (I haven’t told her the name of the place, yet). So I hope I’m doing everything OK.

What I’m really strung up on is how to keep this beauty interested in me. Does the interest just magically happen? I feel as if first dates through online dating are “hit-and-miss.” You know, it’s not one of those dates that erupts from college or through work, where you each have a glimpse of who this person is. Dating via OKCupid is totally random. However, I don’t lie on my profile, and my pictures are current, so maybe I’m just over-thinking things here. Ugh, I definitely need to start dating more often. Haha.

Through all of this, and whether it goes extremely well or completely awful, the experience I gather is what’s most important. Don’t people usually say that life requires risks to obtain what you want? I think so. Which is why I’m going to date the shit out of this woman tomorrow. I’ll bring my A-game, buy her dinner, and be the best damn gentleman I can be. Wish me luck!