The Persistent One

by Baz

“Photo above: Huntington Beach, California. I took this with a Nikon D7000 and Tokina 11-16mm f/2.8”

I recently messaged another woman on OKCupid who instantly grabbed my attention. She’s a journalism major, loves to hike, and appears to have the MOST gorgeous eyes (But who knows, I’ve fallen for the not-so-updated photos before). The major selling point of this woman was her intensely mixed ethnicity like myself, which naturally became the subject of my initiatory message. She’s also really fit (supposedly),which led me to have one of those disgustingly giddy and romantic thoughts of running alongside the beach with her (Since I’m training for the Long Beach City Half-Marathon). My crosshair was in sight, and I was ready to pull the trigger. Unfortunately, after setting up a date for the Los Angeles County Fair this Thursday night, things began to unfold in a rather quirky and seemingly regrettable way.

These are the plenty of no-no’s that are going down for this date:

  1. I’m picking her up, meaning, if our date goes anything but amazing, it could potentially turn into a bad car ride home. I’ve always read about the awkward silences that occur from a bad date, but I’ve never actually experienced one for myself. Guys, isn’t it the golden rule to meet up separately, just in case something like this occurs? I think so, but since were both Orange County natives traveling up to the Los Angeles County Fair, we thought it would be best to save on gas and the $12 parking fee. Honestly, though, if the date turns to shit, I’m sure neither of us would like to sit in silence for thirty minutes, having only the squeaky brakes of my car as the background noise.
  2. This is a REALLY expensive first date. Am I a prude when it comes to money? Fuck no. I always tend to spend it on my family and friends (and even their friends, too). And to superficially make myself look even better, I took care of most of the expenses with my last ex-girlfriend. Anyway, I feel as if there’s always this matter of judgement by how much “the male” is willing to spend on the first date. Is she going to expect me to pay for the many games, desserts, and drinks that we’ll get (not including dinner)? What if I don’t win her a big stuffed animal right away? HOW MANY TIMES WILL I HAVE TO PAY FOR THAT STUPID WATER GUN GAME?! Really, I don’t want to know… I’m actually devastated just thinking about it. What I’m trying to say is this: I don’t want her to think that I’ll be making it rain with “dolla dolla” bills every weekend (presuming that this first date goes well). Is that too much to ask?
  3. She doesn’t text because it’s currently not a priority for her. Why? “Because I pay for my own stuff.” I’ll admit, this is an incredibly admirable quality, except for the fact that she decided it was fine to call me at 3:00am in the morning on a motherfucking Monday night. She apologized the next day in an email, stating that she “really had the urge to talk to me.” That’s understandable, but when I have a huge physiology exam later in the afternoon, that probably isn’t the best time to contact me. Geezus.
  4. She literally responds a few minutes after I message her on OKCupid. Is this woman a troll that never ceases to leave the dark confines of her cave-like room? There’s no “iPhone App” attached to her messages, which makes me believe that she’s always (and I mean ALWAYS) on her computer. Perhaps she’s really digging me? I suppose that would be flattering, in a certain light, but I tend to gravitate more towards those who enjoy doing activities, well, outside.

So here I am, setting myself up for what seems like a 50-50 chance for success. The date could go really well, or it could end up as one of the worst nights of my life. Do you know what, though? Creamsicles were always my favorite type of ice cream.